For much of his life, Victor believed moving forward meant pushing through whatever came his way. He worked, provided for his family, and kept difficult emotions to himself. When grief and other challenges accumulated, he says he tried to mask what he was feeling rather than acknowledge how much he was struggling. Eventually, that approach stopped working. After losing several people close to him, Victor describes reaching one of the lowest periods of his life. His mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health suffered, and he lost much of the stability he had worked to build. Looking back, he recognizes something today that he struggled to acknowledge then: he needed help. “I took accountability, acknowledged I had issues and needed help mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually,” he says.
A Different Way of Looking at Wellness
Today, at 41, Victor is approaching his life differently. His recovery has included behavioral health treatment, counseling, substance use recovery services, medical care, faith, stronger family connections, and recently, a major milestone: signing his first lease. For Victor, one of the biggest changes has been becoming comfortable asking for help. He remembers a time when talking openly with a counselor was something he felt ashamed of, but his perspective has changed. “Communicating with a counselor, having somebody to talk through therapy, it’s all a benefit,” says Victor.
Victor first learned about Interim through Monterey County Behavioral Health while he was still incarcerated. After connecting with Interim, he participated in group and individual counseling and learned strategies to better manage anger, depression, frustration, and difficult situations. He practiced skills through CBT and DBT, but one of the changes he values most has been learning how to communicate what he is feeling without letting anger take over. “Interim has been a big help as far as being able to learn communication and assertive communication,” he said. Just as important, Victor says, has been having positive people available who can help him look at situations differently.
That support became especially meaningful when Victor arrived at Manzanita House, our crisis residential treatment facility. He remembers being welcomed by staff and noticing the calm and respectful way people interacted with him. Interim also helped connect Victor with housing resources, adding another piece to the stability he was working toward. Today, having stable housing means he can spend less time worrying about where he will stay and more time focusing on his behavioral health, medical care, family, and future.
That change is showing up in Victor’s daily life. He starts his mornings with prayer and Bible study, checks in with his children, and volunteers by serving coffee. He walks to a nearby fitness park several times a week and has become more attentive to medical care after years of ignoring his physical health. He also stays connected with his mother, grandmother, children, counselor, and others who provide encouragement. “I’m doing everything that I can to keep moving forward and lead by example,” Victor shared.
Housing has also given Victor something concrete to build around. After experiencing periods without stable shelter, signing his first lease represents more than having an address. He now talks about paying rent, taking care of household expenses, spending money on his children, and appreciating responsibilities he once viewed differently. The amount of money he has matters less to him today than what he chooses to do with it. “This is the first time in life that I had the smallest amount of money, but it feels good to spend your money on paying your rent,” he said. That shift reflects something larger in Victor’s journey: stability is increasingly measured by what he is able to care for and maintain.
His goals are beginning to extend further into the future. Victor hopes to continue becoming the father he wants to be and eventually start his own pressure washing, cleaning, and mobile detailing business. He speaks often about wanting his children to see him focused, present, and moving in the right direction. There is still work ahead, something Victor readily acknowledges, but what has changed is how he approaches it. Instead of trying to manage every part of life alone, he is learning to accept support and care for the different parts of his wellness.
For Victor, progress is not about pretending the past did not happen. It is about what he chooses to do today. “I can honestly say it’s probably one of maybe the second or third times that I’m actually proud of myself,” he said. For someone who once struggled to imagine a different direction, being able to say that may be a milestone all its own.